It was a fall day in 2018 when I decided to hang myself. The truth is, I decided before that day. 7th grade.
“People hate you,” they taunted. “No one would care if you hung yourself.”
Yeah, maybe that’s where the idea came from. 7th grade. They said that I look homeless, like my clothes are something a homeless person would wear, or something. I learned to put up with it, but I never got used it. Even if it was just something one mean person said, I couldn’t help but imagine everyone saying it, or at least thinking it.
But, I’m not homeless. I have a home … and parents. Well, my parents are divorced. I live with my grandparents who are really nice to me. I see my mom and dad quite often, but my step mom doesn’t like me.
So, obviously, I’m still alive. That’s because on a fall day in 2018 I was going to hang myself, but then I didn’t. Why? Well, I heard a motivational speaker named Brandon Lee White who changed how I saw everything. What he said about how we are more than our marks. In fact, those marks can give us meaning and the pain can give us purpose. He said that it’s the tough things that, although we don’t want, we need, because the tough makes us tougher. So, I guess my purpose is to now help others who are suicidal.
After the speech, I gave him a hug and told him thank you. He told me about “Own It Stories,” and that I should write one. So, here I am. If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, my advice is to reach to someone you trust. Maybe read or watch something inspirational that will change your perspective. Definitely don’t give up. None of us are truly homeless if we find company in each other’s struggles and encourage in our victories. Own it!
-Anonymous (9th Grader)
SUICIDE PREVENTION RESOURCES:
(Own It Stories are submitted by real people and edited into a final story with approval from original author.)